I want it out.
I have dreams where I have a knife and I'm cutting a black, cancerous thing out of my flesh and I know that it's the liking of other girls that I'm cutting out. When it's out I feel so refreshed and happy, but then I wake up and it's still there.
It's so hard, because I love being a Baha'i and I accept God's word that homosexuality isn't a good thing, but I hate hating myself. I will never leave the Baha'i Faith, because even if I resign I'll still be a Baha'i in my heart.
It's so gross. I hate it. I hate hating myself.
I want to ask God why it pleases Him to see me this way.
Edit: I'm currently 18, and I've known I was this way since... well, since puberty or so. I'm not some moronic teen who thinks being bi or queer is "trendy". I know what I feel, and I don't want to feel this way.